2016 My Constant Companion - Orlando, FL

This weekend I spent time with my family at The Boardwalk, at Walt Disney World.  Sometimes, when I meet folks, like for example on a date, I tell them that I've been to Disney World about 50 or 60 times - which is true - and they infer from this that I'm a big Disney fan.  And this is somewhat true as well.  I do enjoy Disney.  They do such a great job of making me feel welcome and safe.  But what most people don't understand is that, for me, Disney World - and the Boardwalk in particular - is the most constant thing in my life as an adult.  About 15 years ago, my family purchased a timeshare down at Disney.  They lived in Jacksonville; I was already an adult and out of the house, living in Austin at the time.  I didn't think much of it; it seemed like a fun idea.  I didn't know it would grow to be a center of the memories of me and my family.  Not much in my life has been constant.  I got divorced and went through a series of short relationships.  My parents moved; first to Texas, then back, then California, then back.  I have no childhood home and few childhood friends.  I, myself, moved - first to New York City, then San Francisco, then Portland.  The fact is, my longest memories right now are of being at the Boardwalk.  I can vividly recall getting in a fight with my ex-wife and taking a nap on one of the hammocks over by the Swan.  I remember standing on the bridge near the Yacht Club with my brother when we screamed in the face of a hurricane.  I remember taking my friend Jamie to see the christmas lights at Hollywood Studios.  I've slid down the face of the clown more times than I would care to count.  I met a diehard Republican college woman in the hot tub one time and we're still Facebook friends.  I went on a date in downtown Orlando with a woman who was trying to break into the singing business.  And Disney World and the Boardwalk are where I finished my bike ride in 2014.

Point is, memories.  They're important and, as silly as it sounds, for me this is where they live.

2016 Training Day 4

I'm eager to get back into the blogging.  I've been missing it; I just got distracted by other things.  Today I ran 13.1 miles, or a half marathon.  At least, I ran the first 11.1 miles; I let myself do some walking the last two.  I've really been trying a new approach of, instead of beating my head against brick walls, trying to actually train to my current level, which is why I let myself walk.  I had 6 "easy" miles, meaning that, while I was working, I didn't feel stressed about it.  Then I had  "medium" miles where I could feel the load.  Then, there were 3 "hard" miles where I was struggling, taking me up to 11 miles.  But at that point we were getting into "very hard" terrain, where I'm actually hurting myself.  Unless it's a competition day (and maybe not even then), I'm going to take it easy at that point.  It's not training at that point; it's just self-flagellation. 

2016 Training Day 3

5.3 mi run, 58:31. 

Today sucked.  There's no way around it.  I set out to run a 10K and try to beat my time from the day before yesterday.  Instead I ended up completely gassed by mile 4 and then walked another mile or so and had to basically throw in the towel.  Days like today are tough for me to take.  I feel like a sham, like I'll never get there.  Self-esteem becomes an issue.  But there are things to be learned.  I learned that I need to ramp up my miles slower.  I also think I need new running shoes; I've been trying to limp by (no pun intended) with my old crappy ones, but it's perhaps time for new ones. 

2016 Training Day 2

38.5 miles biking, 187.9 lbs. 

I can already tell that the biggest obstacle to training is going to be prioritization.  Out on the trail, one of the best things is the clarity of purpose.  Riding is priority #1; everything else has to come second.  Today I had a million things to do and it would have been easy to just not ride, or ride shorter than what I had in mind.  But training is priority #1; everything else has to come second.  I rode along the Springwater Corridor; it's a great bike path.  Except I got stung by something right on the head!  5000 miles and only one sting; first time back and I get a big welt on my scalp.  Oh well! :) 

2016 Training Day 1

6.2 mile run in 55:19.  Weight 185.9 lbs.

So, I contemplated what I should do with this blog now that the Pacific Coast trip is over.  And I concluded that what I really wanted to write about was my training.  Fitness and training are becoming more and more important in my life, and I think that reading about others' work is inspiring, so why not write about mine?  It does double duty as a way to inspire me to get out there; the blog will be really sad if I don't!  I realize that reading about me traipsing around Portland may not be fascinating, but hey, I'll mix in some interesting tidbits about gear, philosophy, etc., and maybe even some photos when I do travel. 

For now this is just a placeholder.  Day 1! 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 30 - Carlsbad, CA

As my trip sails off into the sunset, both literally and philosophically, it's tempting to indulge in a bunch of silly philosophizing and over dramatization.  But the truth is, even though some important things are happening, it's not about individual moments, but about trajectory.  It's human nature to assume that today, as a transition day, is somehow more important than other days.  But it was always about the journey and not the destination.  The fact that I am flying today from San Diego to Portland is just that, a lone bare fact.  Absent the context of this amazing journey it wouldn't mean much.  And so my focus is on that journey.  I am so happy that I went on these trips.  I am so grateful to that person who stood in front of the Bend Public Library and agonized over failed relationships, failed careers and the trajectory of a life headed down and had the courage to stick to the decision to head out on a bicycle.  I feel a debt of gratitude to the person that worked those extra months in San Francisco, when I didn't want to be there.  Who took a devastating breakup, 3 separate moves and some health issues in stride and just powered through.  I could have given up - and in fact in 2015 I did.  But this time there was no giving up.  And the trip was everything I could have hoped for.  After the first trip, I felt like I was part of a family.  But after two trips, I feel like I am part of a community.  There is no question that this is now the most important thing in my life besides my family.  This organization - Bike the US for MS - is amazing and Cassie and Don and everyone are to be commended.  But it's the larger community of distance cycling enthusiasts that I'm really excited about as well.  There is so much more to do - the Ring Road in Iceland, Bike the UK for MS, the Northern Tier, the Souther Tier, the TransCanada road (have you heard about this? It's 22,000km long with no cars), biking around Australia, etc., etc.  And racing: STP, the TransAm Bike Race, weekend fondos and smaller events.  Triathlons, too.  Maybe even one this weekend! 

The larger point is, this isn't an ending.  It's just a new beginning. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 29 - Huntington Beach, CA

Today we return to the travelogue portion of our trip after some diversions for philosophy and other esoteric topics.  Yesterday was my last day riding for this Pac Coast trip.  :(  I'm driving the Rest Stop Van today and tomorrow morning I fly out early to head back for Portland and my "real life" (whatever that means!).  But as a parting gift California treated me to one of the more serene and beautiful days riding I've ever experienced.  Most of the route from Santa Monica down to Huntington Beach is bike trails.  I had always thought of LA as ugly.  And, to be fair, the portion of time we spent along the LA River was, in fact, ugly.  But that was the only ugly part.  The rest was wide open beautiful white sandy beaches with a thin bike path snaking through them.  It was unbelievable.  There was also some kind of Beach Volleyball competition happening in Hermosa Beach.  The women were perfect, model quality women literally just frolicking in the sand.  It was like a Beach Boys song came to life.  I was impressed to say the least. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 27/28 - Santa Monica, CA

A few days back, Grant said something interesting, which was that while he was on his tour, one of the cyclists had a strong anti-religion stance.  But during these trips, we spend a lot of time in churches; they donate the space, they donate meals, they are extremely kind and caring and generous.  And so it was interesting for this person to watch that.  And I find that I'm going through something similar.  I wouldn't say I have a *strong* anti-religion stance, but definitely I don't have much use for religion in my life, and I have some negativity around it from growing up Catholic.  I think, to be honest, of it as a bit silly, a bit intellectually and emotionally lazy, and sometimes as judgmental and divisive.  But this trip definitely has softened that feeling, or at least augmented it.  Perhaps I still think all those things above, but you have to admit that churches and religion do a lot of really great work.  I have lamented - not for the first time - the lack of a strong parallel organization that isn't about religion but still does good work.  There are such things, but definitely - at least in this country - if you want to do good, you often end up being involved with religion.  Anyway, I have no conclusions for you, just interesting thoughts.

2016 Pacific Coast Day 25/26 - Goleta, CA

I don't honestly have that much to write about today; I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves.  We're biking through some beautiful country.  Today and yesterday were both easy centuries.  That means I biked 100 miles both days.  (OK, technically today I've only done about 97 but I'll get there as soon as I get back to camp).  The fact that I can even utter the sentence that biking 100 miles was easy should indicate how far down the rabbit hole I've gone.  But really they were; beautiful weather, tailwinds, relatively flat, great support.  Today I was in a pace line with Mike and Jake.  Easy! 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 24 - Monterey, CA

Yesterday we rode into Monterey.  I was driving the rest stop van but it was a short day so I got to drop the van off and get on my bike and ride back up the beautiful beach path that you see below.  Bike paths really are amazing. 

One of the things I've realized is that I really have to be in the mood to blog, or at least to blog well.  My schedule has gotten a bit off which frustrates me but when I try to force it, it just doesn't work.  Yesterday I sat down at a restaurant and I was starving and I wanted to blog but I basically just had to wait until I'd eaten or it was no good. 

Nutrition has started to become an issue.  I've been feeling the money crunch and so I've been doing...nutritionally unsound things.  :0  And my body is starting to get fed up with me (fed up, get it??).  When I get back to Portland I've got to start upping my nutritional game so to speak.

The views down here really are beautiful. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 22-23 - Santa Cruz, CA

Yesterday was a very nice, if relatively uneventful ride into Half Moon Bay.  We got to explore a lot more of HMB than I ever had before, usually I just drive through.  And last night was, of course, our "Brom", or Bike Prom.  The only thing I have to say about that is that I once again feel so incredibly grateful to get to hang out with such really cool people and have so much fun.  It was just a really fun time.  Today we headed into Santa Cruz - another really nice and uneventful but beautiful ride.  The weather is finally turning warm which is great. 

This afternoon I really wanted to go out to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and ride the rides, but nobody else in the group wanted to do that.  So I did it anyway.  One of the really important things I have been learning is how to have fun on my own.  Don't misunderstand; I would rather be with other people and have a long term relationship.  But sometimes that just isn't going to happen.  Even people in relationships sometimes have to spend time apart.  And I used to be very bad at spending time alone.  But I've been getting better.  I had a great time, by myself, riding exactly the roller coasters that I wanted to ride.  And if I got some funny looks as a single 39-year-old dude, oh well, that's those people's problem. :) 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 18-21 - Olema, San Francisco

This is the longest time I've gone without updating my blog.  My apologies to all my readers; I really intended to make this a daily affair, and so far I've done well but the last few days threw me off my game.  Which is not to say that they were bad days at all.  The first two days were riding days, and the weather was somewhat wet and uninspired.  I ride well in weather like that but I find it kind of unpoetic.  Then we showed up in San Francisco.  There's a lot I could say about the first day in SF.  I volunteered to take the whole crew on a guided bike tour of the city.  It was really fun but definitely exhausting; 14 egos on 14 bikes!  But everybody was cool about it.  I got them to explore some of the sights that people don't usually see, like the Sutro Bath ruins.  Then yesterday was a day off, so I got to see Star Trek with my brother at the new Alamo (it's really nice but the food is expensive).  I wish I could remember more details about the ride but it's all a bit foggy (get it?).  

One thing that's been really nice is discovering/re-discovering how much I genuinely enjoy helping people.  I've had a few opportunities over the last few days to really get to help folks in small ways on the trip, and it's fun to find that you're a good person and that you enjoy it.  It makes me feel really good about myself.  One day we had a minor issue while I was riding and I ended up having to man the rest stop and make cocoa for people and boost their spirits.  I've never thought of myself as much of a cheerleader but I really enjoyed it.  And taking people through the city was fun; I liked the responsibility, I enjoyed being the leader, and I really liked having people say how much they enjoyed it. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 17 - Fort Bragg, CA

Yesterday was a fun day of riding.  Long, and occasionally cold and wet but a good solid day.  There was a traveling musical act on bicycles that we played leapfrog with all day.  And delicious Mexican food for dinner.  I rode most of the way today with Alex, my new Captain Canada friend who wore a big Canada jersey all day for which I gave him no end of crap. 

One of the things that came up today was Buddhism.  We've crossed back into Mendocino county and so we're back in the territory of the Marin/Sonoma/Mendocino Buddhist enclaves, and we passed our first one today.  Buddhism weaved it's way into and out of the period of time I spent in SF, at least the last half.  For a while I was really into it.  I never considered myself a practicing Buddhist and I don't think I ever will, but it resonated with me - and helped me - more than my childhood Catholic training ever did.  I took bits and pieces from it, which Buddhism encourages you to do (unlike Christianity).  To me, Christianity is like a really nice restaurant where you order off a limited menu and then the waiter tells you that wasn't what you really wanted and recommends something else.  Eventually you probably get something tasty.  But Buddhism, to me, is the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.  You don't even have to know what you want to eat, just that you're hungry, and then they put all these dishes in front of you and say "well, what do you feel like eating?" 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 15/16 - Redway, CA

My apologies for not updating yesterday but we had no internet access and also things got a bit crazy.  We rode the "alternate" route down to the Lost Coast through Petrolia.  It was an amazing and awesome experience but also quite challenging (as many awesome experiences are) and it may take some time to process.  It was a very challenging two days for my team, a lot more challenging than we've had so far.  I think that in the long run they will all look back on it as their favorite part of the trip but there's no question it was a challenge.  I ended up having to rescue someone from off the road at about  7 pm after hammering 11.5 miles back to camp to pick up the van.  (Their back brake was messed up).  It was a difficult road which I highly recommend for anyone experienced in cycling but for the same reason wouldn't recommend to any beginners.  Mostly the issue was that the road quality was really torn up which is something you have to have some experience to deal with.  However the road was amazing and the views were incredible.  I didn't take many pictures because we were so focused on getting the job done but I'll show you what I have.  I enjoy being out on the road so very much.  Today after our long 80 mile ride I got to play miniature golf in the dark at the RV park for free and drink a beer and it was paradise. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 13/14 - Arcata, CA

Big props to Thermarest, who came through for me today by replacing my old Bas Camp sleeping pad that had sprung a leak with a new fancy ProLite version, for free.  I know I've been talking a lot about gear lately but when you live with this stuff you start taking it seriously and even getting emotional about it.  :)

It's been really cold and foggy, so I've had a chance to think about the eternal question: too cold, or too hot?  I think I"m in for "too cold".  I mean, it is annoying to be freezing.  I don't like it.  But being too hot really saps my energy and makes me not want to be active, which is a no go. 

I have this dream of making clickable versions of all my blog posts so that you can just go to a map and click around and read the post for wherever I was that day.  We'll see if it happens! 

2016 Pacific Coast Trip Day 12 - Elk Prairie Campground, CA

Today was a nice mixed day of climbing and flats traveling through the northern CA redwoods.  I had some serious issues with my derailleur, both rear and front.  One of my life goals is definitely to get to bicycle repair school; I'd love to know more about what's going on. 

Speaking of knowing more of what's going on, I kept thinking today about my little eTrex 10 GPS.  I spend so much time staring at the little numbers going up and down, both the distance and the elevation.  I was particularly curious about the elevation part - how does it know?  I had always had this erroneous idea that it used the coordinates to look up your elevation on a map but I realized today that would never work and it must work some other way.  And so I read the Wikipedia entries (side note: is any modern invention better than Wikipedia?) about GPS and how elevation works.  And, having read it, I have only this to say: science is basically incredible.  When you read how it works - and you should - you will basically say "no f'ing way".  Reading the description, it's like "that should never work".  But it *does*.  It works so well they can put it in a watch.  It works so well they can sell one for $50 that works within 13 feet.  It works so well that everyone has one in their cell phone.  But it's insanely complicated.  It relies on things like the speed radio signals travel in our ionosphere (whic, it turns out, changes all the time because of weather and god knows what else).  It relies on fractions of a nanosecond timing and the position of 4 out of 24 satellites hurtling through space 20,000 miles up.  If you start to think too hard about it your brain literally hurts, and yet it's one of the most reliable inventions of the modern age. 

It almost makes me want to work for a GPS company. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 11 - Crescent City, CA

Yesterday I stopped by a Mexican grocery store.  There is nothing particularly notable about this grocery store.  It was at the corner of Sarina and first somewhere in between Coos Bay and Crescent City.  There was, and is, a nice little tree of some sort in the front where you can sit on the ground and eat.  The only things remarkable about this grocery store is that I stopped in the same place on the way north in 2014.  So I stopped again when I saw it.  I bought some food and sat under the tree and ate it. 

Things are special not so much because they are intrinsically so but because we make them so.  Poetry may be in the universe, but certainly we are at least the lens to focus it.  My life is stronger and more meaningful because I rode in 2014, and then acted on that to change my life in a way that made the ride in 2016 possible.  And even though I am the same, I am different, and so that little market is different - through no fault of their own but only the growth of the observer. 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 10 - Humbug Mountain State Park, OR

Today's post is going to be a grab bag of random topics delivered to you from a rocky crag overlooking the ocean.  I rode into camp in the van feeling really cranky and I figured out that it was because I hadn't ridden my bike for two days so I went out on a joyride of about 35 miles.  I ended up riding next to a guy on the team who was recently a grad student in biochemistry and we talked about how screwed up academia and pure research are in this country.  Which is a shame because it's so important. 

As I spend more time outdoors I really am changing the way I look at my gear and equipment.  A lot of the stuff I own works fine in the comfort of an office but fails out here on the road. Like my phone and case, which are now broken (again).  Or this Apple Watch which is fine  I guess but the battery is always dead and it just isn't that useful.  Or my thermarest which has a leak.  Stuff like that.  All I want now is long battery life, easy repair, and for it to just f'ing work! 

2016 Pacific Coast Day 9 - Coos Bay, OR

Sorry, Coos Bay.  I didn't really like you in 2014, and I'm not a big fan this time around either.  Today was OK but fairly dull; I drove the rest stop van.  The ride was really easy, a nice flat 47 miles.  Nobody had any serious issues.  We got here to a church that - for the fourth time in four straight days - had no wifi, so I once again had to go sit outside a closed public library to finish watching the training videos for my new job (which I finally finished - yay!).  I pulled out my Gear VR last night which is always a crowd pleaser.  But basically it was just not a very memorable day. 

2016 Day 8 - Florence, OR

Yesterday I crossed over into the territory I covered in the ride that I did in 2014.  In 2014, I rode north from San Francisco to Florence and then turned east on the TransAmerica.  This time, I was coming down from the south and headed to SF and points beyond.  On this occasion it's easy to compare where I'm at now to where I was in 2014.  The biggest and most obvious difference is that in 2014 I felt like I was searching for something, whereas in 2016 I feel like I've found something.  Every day I wake up with a list of issues, not least of which are the financial ones.  But what keeps me going is the realization that I'm so much happier and more fulfilled than I was back then.  I don't fear the future as a general rule.  I have anxieties but they don't dominate my life.  Often I think about how nice it would be to go back to the life I had then.  There was a lot to recommend it, on paper.  But being here provides an acute reminder of how unhappy I was back then, and the contrast to where I am now.  I am literally and figuratively headed in a different direction.