Yesterday I had an interesting interaction with someone that reminded me of something very important. It was meaningful to me, and I think it will be an interesting reminder to some of you, gentle readers. The nature of this interaction isn't really the important part. Suffice it to say that about 3 months ago I was interacting about someone with regards to something very important to me. We had some communications - miscommunications - that were open to interpretation. I proceeded to assume that this person meant the worst, and I didn't want to deal with more rejection and disappointment, so I just simply stopped talking to them.
Fast forward 3 months, and for random reasons they popped back into my life. Suddenly, lo and behold, it turns out that they had the exact *opposite* thing in mind. I had totally miscontrued what they were trying to say/do, and it was exactly the opposite.
6 and a half years of living in San Francisco has, sadly, taught me some lessons, most of which I don't really like and, increasingly, some of which I'm figuring out aren't even true. And I'm reminded of a truism which, to paraphrase, is that if you think someone has it out for you, whether you're right or you're wrong, you're suddenly right. It's like the old saying: whether you think you can (have a positive relationship with someone) or you think you can't, you're right. And it's so true. The way that I imagine relationships proceeding turns into the reality of the situation.
So, no matter how many interacting I have that genuinely go poorly, it is of paramount importance that I treat each new one as an opportunity to start fresh. Not because it's the morally or ethically right thing to do, but because - as every salesperson knows - it's just more successful at bringing me what I want, which is genuine human interaction.
And that's an incredibly important lesson for me to learn right now.