Today, I went cross country skiing. Well, let me take that back a bit - today, I went cross country skiing the way Chris Farley might have gone cross country skiing in a comedy starring him and David Spade. I spent a lot of time in snowbanks, and I had a few choice words for my skis. I'm not, though, going to talk so much about the skiing itself as much as what it reminded me of, which is my fascination with being a beginner at something. Over time, I've become really interested in beginners. How to teach beginners, how to be a beginner, the "beginner mind". As a yoga teacher, a college professor, and just as somebody who enjoys new things, being a beginner is something I enjoy doing and think everybody should experience regularly. Yes, it's fun to do things that you're already good at, but it's also really mind expanding to try something new. One facet of being a beginner is being surrounded by experts. Today I had the luxury of being all on my lonesome, but often, as an expert at something, we interact with beginners. So, today, my
Ten Tips for Dealing With Beginners When You Are An Expert
1. They're "Just Doing It". Remember that it's always better to try something than not try. Even if you watch somebody suck hard at something, remind yourself that they got off the couch to do this thing you already know and love, and that's a total victory in and of itself.
2. They're Much Better Than You At Something Else. Everybody's good at something, and they probably look really awesome and graceful when doing the thing they're good at. So maybe just mentally imagine them doing that.
3. Some (Most) Things Have To Be Learned The Hard Way. It just takes time to learn a skill. Yes, maybe they are unaware of the proper technique. But maybe they know perfectly well what they're supposed to be doing and it's just going to take a lot of practice before they get there.
4. Know Thyself, and Whether Thou Art A Good Teacher. Some people are good teachers, and some just aren't. It's important to know which you are. If you're genuinely a good and patient teacher, by all means, help. But if you know that you're really just not the kind of person that likes to teach, then just smile and do your own thing. There's no shame in that.
5. Remember the Things That Helped You. Yes, everyone can learn in a different way. But generally speaking, if something helped you, it probably will help someone new. We all have a few "aha" moments when learning something. I find it incredibly useful, when I'm learning a new skill, to write down the things that really make a difference, so that later, when I'm not a beginner, I can revisit that and remember what it was like.
6. There's No Shame In Not Wanting To Be Around Beginners. Some people like it. Others really don't. And it may change from day to day and from sport to sport. If you don't feel like being around the bunny slope, that's fine! Nobody is obligated to help, even with close friends. If your girlfriend wants to learn to snowshoe and you're just not feeling it, buy her a lesson! Better that, than to get all grumpy and impatient.
7. No BS. Beginners know they suck. Encouragement is welcome. But keep it reasonable. I'm always reminded of the people that used to sit at mile 22 of a marathon and jump up and down and yell about how I was "almost there". I'm not almost there. It's 4.2 miles away. I know just how far it is, believe me.
8. Being a Beginner Is Fun. If I could just swallow and pill and be good at cross country skiing, I wouldn't. You'll only be a beginner once. Beginners get extra attention, no pressure, and they get to look silly. Sometimes I wish I was a beginner at skiing; now that I'm good, my ski lifts are a lot higher and a lot colder!
9. Find Something Else To Be A Beginner At. I think it's really important for mental health to keep choosing things to be a beginner at. And there are plenty of things. My yoga instructor used to say, "two-thirds of the time do what you know. One-third of the time, push your envelope."
10. Beginners Are People Too. Perhaps this doesn't need to be said, but of course, the key to being around beginners is the same as the key to being around anyone: be nice, be polite, and be compassionate.
