For the first day in my whole trip I find myself without much of anything to say. Having made that decision about how to end this phase of the bike trip, I think a sort of quiet has settled over me. I’m so ready to be done; I’m curious what the next stage will bring, and I’m really eager to get there. Today was the most remote part of my trip; 66 miles through forest. I met a few folks yesterday who were out riding on Highway 12, and they had either just started or were only out for a week or so. I felt a certain sort of kinship with them, but I also felt a bit defensive, as if I wanted to say “you’re not *really* going on a bike ride”. Last night I met a guy named Tom who used to be an intern for Google. We were both inside the little lodge and he came over and just said “Touring cyclist?” We had a wide-ranging conversation about computer science and philosophy - the kind people used to have in wooden lodges in the woods, and I guess they still do. I recognized some of myself in him; we both talked about how CS and such were just so spiritually unfulfilling, and how we didn’t know what we wanted to do with our time. I was a bit older than him and I think he was looking for me to tell him that everything was going to be OK, and I couldn’t do that. At one point he said “Man, I was hoping for better news.” But better to know now! What struck me about our conversation, though, was at the very end, just as we were about to get up, I asked him where his companions were (he said he had traveled here with 1 friend and 2 other guys me’d met along the way). He said “Well, they’re out in the camping area over there, but it’s my birthday, so I thought I’d get myself some cobbler”. Suddenly I got really sad for him. He didn’t look sad at all, but then with his type (stoic), it’s hard to know; maybe he really wasn’t sad, maybe he didn’t care about birthdays. But I was sad for him. I wished him a happy birthday, and I wondered at the sort of people that travel together through hardships like the ones you see on the road, but then don’t bother to celebrate birthdays together. I guess that’s OK if it’s OK with him, but that’s not how I want to spend *my* birthdays, or how I want to related to people
I also ran into a military couple out at the lodge fire last night (which none of the other cyclists came to either). They had grown up in Missoula, but then the military moved them around and they had spent most of the last 11 years in Germany, of all places. I think I said something dismissive about the military and insulted them a bit - when the husband got up for a minute the wife gave me a bit of stink eye. I need to watch what I say to people. My Dad was in the Navy for a while and really didn’t have a good experience, so I grew up thinking the military was not a great life choice. Anyway, they said Missoula was an awesome place, you just had to stick it out, and try to find work.
Today I woke up wet and very very cold. My tent stinks. I waited for the lodge to open, and now I’m warming up over a firm wooden table, before I start in on my last 50-60 miles. I can’t wait for Missoula.
