Today I want to talk about “third places”. This is a concept some of you might be familiar with. It’s got a reasonably good wikipediat article, which I’ll link here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place. That article, though, focuses pretty exclusively on the community-building aspect of these spaces, whereas I’d like to talk more about the role they play in a balanced, healthy mental state. The words “third place” refers to the first and second places being your work and home, respectively. The idea is that there are certain things that are hard to accomplish in your first and second places. I encountered the concept of third place through my meditation practice. Earlier today, I realized that - for reasons I won’t get into - I really needed to meditate. It had been a while, and I just needed that mental space. I found a zazen meetup here in Bend, but I realized, as I was driving to it, that what I really needed was to be alone, and to meditate alone - not with people I didn’t know. But that was an issue. I wasn’t going to go to work or school to meditate, obviously. And for various reasons home just wasn’t a good spot. I have 4 roommates, who I don’t know all that well, and who have a tendency to be loud at the most inconvenient times. So I needed someplace to go. Someplace quiet.
Unfortunately, for many of us, home isn’t always the most relaxing place. We may have roommates, even as adults. We may be in a relationship that isn’t working out - or one that is, but isn’t always calm or tranquil. We might have kids, or pets. Or maybe it’s just hard to really get calm surrounded by all of our stuff, and our hopes, and our dreams, and the things that remind us of our to-do list. In the old days, that third place might possibly have been church; but I don’t believe in any organized religion, and I don’t belong to a church. Stephen Fry has floated the idea of “atheist churches”; spaces you can go and participate in a ceremony that feels like organized religion, but isn’t. Sometimes, though, it isn’t really community we’re looking for; it’s the ability to be alone with our thoughts.
When I was on my bike ride last summer, I found myself using McDonalds as my third place. I didn’t intend for that to happen; it just sort of evolved. McDonalds is actually ideal in some ways: first of all, they’re very consistent, even across the country. Second, they’re pleasant; they often have nice booth seating, and - laugh if you want - they’ve really improved their interior design. They have really good internet connections. And they open early and stay open late. But most importantly, McDonalds is completely anonymous. It’s a blank slate, that you can pour whatever you want into. When I wanted to sit and collect my thoughts after a day on the bike and update my blog, McDs was a great place to just let those thoughts flow, uninterrupted by anything really all that interesting. The very thing that makes them so abhorrent to many people - their generic corporate nature - made them, in some ways, the perfect spot.
Now, I am not suggesting that McDonalds is the right answer to third places. In fact, it’s a sign of how badly we need these places that I ended turning to a fast food chain. For some people, coffee shops are the answer. They do happen to provide pleasant spaces sometimes - but they can be maddeningly inconsistent, with spotty or nonexistent wifi, fluctuating noise levels, kind of random interior decor. And I don’t actually like coffee.
I was lucky - I am taking classes at a college, and colleges have libraries, and libraries set aside places for studying. So I went to mine, borrowed a group study room, and laid on the floor and listened to meditation tapes. They even had a beanbag for my head. Perfect. (If you are going to school).
One of my old bosses had the idea - I can’t claim credit for it - for starting a series of places that you could rent, which were basically individual “meditation pods”; tiny little 1 person rooms with consistent lighting, internet access, a comfy chair, perhaps a way to play music. They would be small, and very generic, but also very pleasant and consistent. You would pay for access by the 15 minute time period. Nobody would ask you to buy coffee or fast food. For several reasons, he isn’t the right person to run that business - but somebody should. I’d love to be able to go to a place like that, while on the road - or even in my own town - and rent a quiet space to just be contemplative. I’d pay the cost of a cup of coffee - let’s say $4 - to rent a space like that for 15 minutes. Would you?